Letting Go

Fear, anger, worries… these are all things we cling to.  We fear that which is unknown; we get angry when we feel we are wronged, or slighted, or misunderstood; we worry about everything… how we look in the eyes of others, how we live, what we eat or wear, we even worry about what others may say about us.  All of these come from some place in us that refuses to let go: let go of the fear that we don’t know or can’t see; of the anger we feel against those we feel have wronged us; of worrying about how we will make it or how we will survive.

A card I made for a friend diagnosed with cancer of the lungs.

I recently re-read one of my favorite books, “When I lay my Isaac Down” by Carol Kent.  Carol and her husband had to surrender their only son to the prison system after he committed the unthinkable crime: murder of another human being.  With that one act, their son, Jason Paul, or J.P. for short, had turned the family’s whole world upside down.  Throughout that whole ordeal, the Kents had to learn to surrender all – their hope for their son’s future, their living as it had been up until then to the Lord. They had to trust God to bring them out of the wilderness of anger, pain, fear, and worry, to a place where they could hope for the future and the future of their only son, who is sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Today’s devotion in the Upper Room Disciplines 2014, deals with letting go of our Ishmaels (read Genesis 21:8-21); having the courage to release our grasp on that which we hold dear and to cling tightly to God and trust him with our future.   How can we do this, we wonder? I suggest that we start by building a relationship with God; one that will allow us to trust that when we stumble and fall, he’ll be there to catch or pick us up.  I’m not saying this will be easy, but once we invite God into our private space and begin giving him our fears, worries, pain, and anger, we will find the courage to surrender all of these to him and he will show us the way out of our wilderness.

I recently heard a song that spoke to my spirit, “I Will Follow” by Jon Guerra.  The lyrics to this song moved me to tears and it validated my trust in this God who loves me despite my faults and my failures. Despite my problems, my fears, and insecurities, I will follow him; I won’t turn back, I’ll keep moving forward.

I leave you with the video and lyrics to the song:

I Will Follow
Worship Leader: Jon Guerra
(Jon Guerra, Jacob Sooter)

When the sea is calm and all is right
When I feel Your favor flood my life
Even in the good, I'll follow You
Even in the good, I'll follow You

When the boat is tossed upon the waves
When I wonder if You'll keep me safe
Even in the storms, I'll follow You
Even in the storms, I'll follow You

I believe everything that You say You are
I believe that I have seen Your unchanging heart
In the good things and in the hardest part
I believe and I will follow You
I believe and I will follow You

When I see the wicked prospering
When I feel I have no voice to sing
Even in the want, I'll follow You
Even in the want, I'll follow You

When I find myself so far from home
And You lead me somewhere I don't wanna go
Even in my death, I'll follow You
Even in my death, I'll follow You

When I come to end this race I've run
And I receive the prize that Christ has won
I will be with You in Paradise
I will be with You in Paradise